In my last post Non-Judgmental Attitude: A Mindful Perspective, I discussed how having a non-judgmental attitude is the first key concept to developing mindfulness. It allows you to look at things from a logical perspective without assigning any positive or negative meaning to it. I now want to discuss patience. Patience is the second key concept to developing mindfulness. Being impatient is another form of being judgmental. When we are impatient, we have a particular idea of how quickly something should be done. If it isn’t done within the time frame in our minds eye, then we are making the judgment that a particular task is taking too long. I am going to share a few tips on how to become more patient.
You Have Limited Control
The first tip I have is to understand you do not have control over everything in your life. Impatience usually means we feel a lack of control. In today’s world we are constantly bombarded with the idea that we are in control of our destiny. If something isn’t going right in our life it is our fault. These ideas are true to a certain extent. However, the real truth is we are only in control of ourselves. We cannot control what others say, think, or do. We are only able to control our perspectives, what we say, and our actions. Once we let go of the idea that we have control over everything in our life we are on the path becoming more patient. It will help us understand that things will happen in their own time. Any attempt we make to try and speed things along will result in frustration and other negative emotions.
How to Listen Actively
Active listening is when we take the time to listen to someone without having any pre-determined responses planned. In other words, we actually listen to the person and make sure we understand what they are trying to communicate to us. This does two things. First is lets the person speaking to us know that we truly care about what they have to say. It makes them feel heard. I’m sure you have been talking with someone and they interrupt you with what they have to say. That can be very frustrating. The second thing it does is puts us in the present moment. Remember part of mindfulness is being present in the moment. Once we are truly in the present moment, we are able to fully focus on the situation at hand and react in a logical manner. So, practice active listening. It will improve your relationship with the person you are communicating with and help you focus on the present moment.
Slowing Down Leads to Awareness
We live in a fast-paced world. Everything needs to be done yesterday. Living life in a continual state of rapid motion causes us to miss things. The faster we move the less aware we become. When we slow down to take a breath and allow ourselves to relax, we start to become more aware of the world around us. Developing awareness is another characteristic of mindfulness. Being aware means you know what is going on in your surroundings. You are deliberately taking the time to fully understand things. Living life at a pace that allows you to be aware and get things done is a good balance.
Developing patience will help you become more mindful in so many ways. We have just discussed how it will help us focus on what we can control, be present in the moment, and be aware of our surroundings. Each of these are characteristics of mindfulness. Because patience helps develop so many characteristics of mindfulness is why it is the second key component to cultivating mindfulness.